Expression

July 04, 2006

Lucky Woman Am I ?

I am so lucky! My husband doesn't come drunk and doesn't ever beat me. My in-laws did not ask for dowry and didn't even raise eyebrows or taunt me or harass me when I didn't take any dowry...actually there was no question of taking coz I didn't really leave my parents' house to move in with my husband's parents house. We both left our parents' home and build one of our own. My husband 'allowed' me to retain my surname even after marriage. He did not force me to change my religion and convert to the one he belongs to. He lets me work when I want and where I want. He does not get upset if I do not cook for him at times or ask him to learn and cook for me as well...my in-laws do not force me to bear 'their' heir and I am sure if I were to get pregnant would not bless me to have a son...they would not determine the sex of my unborn child and not kill it if it is a girl! I have the freedom to keep in touch with my friends, many of them males and my husband does not create angry scenes if I meet my male freinds alone...I do not feel stifled, oppressed and fearful in my interactions with him. I do not have to ask for his permission for anything...and so people consider me lucky.

Yes I am lucky as many people like to tell me...compared to many other women in India...and they say I shouldn't make an issue about gender discrimination and violence against women and patriarchy...I am an independent, educated, upper middle class woman who was allowed to and even encouraged and appreciated by her parents to pursue higher studies and make a niche for herself in this world...

BUT as I admit to my good luck I want to know how many men in India would use similar parameters of luck? and then we will talk about feminism and the need for raising issues of gender equity and equality...

5 Comments:

Anonymous Surgi said...

Cool blog! Being lucky is so subjective. You are lucky in parts of Kashmir if you spend a day without being blown up or shot down. You lucky in parts of Africa if you get a square meal a day. You are lucky in parts of India if you are even born being a girl. I would consider myself lucky if I get to make a film (and after all that I've written, my being lucky seems so trivial but thats the way it goes). So here's to luck wishing that it gets gender sensitive, and it shouldn't take much time considering that it's called LADY luck!

11:22 AM  
Blogger silbil said...

angry post that is...
add to it the gratefulness each woman has to feel if her husband is nice enough to cook...take care of the baby and do such things...he becomes a bigger super man than Krrish and Superman all put together!!!

11:35 PM  
Blogger silbil said...

ha ha ha and about my fellow commentator...
SURGI the MURGI
we all know who you are...

10:05 PM  
Blogger sudo phish said...

Lots of healthy angst- i love it! It's so true that "feeling lucky" is so relative. It amazes me more when men our age and class actually echo the feeling you talk about in your post, almost as if to say they are obliging us by treating us as equals. "Garv se kaho I am not a MCP. i am so great, I don't expect u to cook for me, or make rotis, or wash dishes". I mean who the hell gave u the choice in any case? BAH

5:08 PM  
Blogger der Bergwind said...

do read some postz on my blog... ull find, i have thought abt it... well, don have black n white solutionz... but i do feel it has to be a shared space...:))

8:39 AM  

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